Fear: to have and to hold?

Let’s talk about FEAR… such a dreadful word really, the connotation is quite frightening in and of itself!

What are you most afraid of? What is/are your biggest fear(s)? Do you run from them? Address them? Find ways to embrace them?

Me? I am afraid most of LOSS! Loss of self. Loss of time. Loss of love. Loss of happiness. Loss of laughter. Loss of youth. Loss of friendships. Most afraid to the loss of people.

So, how do we address our fears and embrace them? Well, I am no expert on the matter… but I think it’s time for me to get really real here. I cry at almost every sad storyline in a TV show, and more so, I even tear up at commercials! My son and husband sort of poke fun at me… at any moment there is a shred of sadness in something we are watching together, my son looks at me and says, “Mommmmm…..” they both sort of chuckle.

Why is this reaction so strong for me?

Because I am utterly afraid! I want to freeze time and keep things just as they are… I’ve been this way since I was a little girl. Maybe it was the challenge of being the oldest child, living in a divorced home, and growing up sort of as an “outsider” in our neighborhood, feeling lost along the way, and yearning for something better. Maybe this is why I was so drawn to reading and teaching House on Mango Street. Maybe it’s because I absolutely and wholeheartedly LOVE in a fierce way. (Once you’re in with me, there is no escaping… I will love you endlessly! =P)

So… how do we embrace or tackle our fears?

We simply (it’s not that easy!) face them! There is no other way that I can see… we can run from them, we can avoid them, but they will find us. That is the cruel reality of our fears really… they, much like most of our thoughts, follow us around. Sometimes we become them… they are the things we carry.

I find that the more positivity or positive action I use to fight whatever fear I am facing… the better the outcome. I also find that some acts like meditation, visualization, and even becoming more educated on a matter help immensely. I am a better version of myself and can overcome most anything when I take the time to focus on the situation and seeking out all of the best angles to approach it. For me, it is also necessary to do physical activity… man does this ever give me strength and cleanse the mind. My personal favorite for mental strength is yoga, along with meditation. You know what else is awesome? Getting out and walking, alone or with someone you enjoy talking with helps as well, especially on the emotional side. When that doesn’t help… scream! Just scream… get it all out… cry, I mean really cry… then hug yourself, remind yourself that you CAN do this, and get back in the game! You’ve got this… we all do, one day, one moment, one breath at a time! I call all of this my “soul food,” the little things we can do for ourselves will ultimately become the biggest/best.

I’m interested to hear from you… how do you face your fears? Most importantly, how do you embrace them? Look forward to your comment below.

Here’s to facing and embracing our fears… telling them to get out of the way, so we can in fact GO BEAUTIFULLY!  After all, courage is the antonym of fear… the first step is by far the most courageous!!!




  • Shirleen

    How does one embrace/face their lifetime fear of being humilated by someone (a loved one, friend, boss, coworker, enemy) in front of others?

  • Ashley McTucker

    The strongest and most successful people in the world, without one characteristic or trait singled out (i.e. relationships, freedom, financial success, parenthood, etc.) face their fears with the knowledge of possible rejection and continue on anyway believing anything is possible because it is. Encouragement from loved ones is an absolute; action>words.


  • Kelly

    That’s a good question. We all have them, it’s just a mater of how to deal with them. For me a good hike or exercise is the best thing. Deep breathing helps when that’s all I have time for.
    For you Shirleen, you’ve grown up with a family of teasers! They can be relentless. So I would say laughter is your best defense. I deal with it constantly at work and at home. They don’t always realize how much words matter, so you can’t take it to seriously:)

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