Children,  Journey,  Motherhood,  Parenting,  Womanhood

Bubble: Burst it!

Burst your own bubble!

Not the happy kind (we like those)… I am talking more about the kind of bubble that we all seem to find shelter in, our comfort zone, otherwise known as the place that we find safety and security.

Why do we tend to stay in our comfort zones?

Me, I find that it’s safer and quieter inside my bubble… I don’t risk embarrassment, humiliation, judgment, controversy, change… most of all, I don’t risk rejection!!

Why do you stick to the limits of your bubble? 

You see, I find great joy in forging relationships with people, however I find that rather than “winning friends and influencing people,” I become a huge blunder of my own insecurities and fears that jumble out into an embarrassing moment of judgment or rejection by another. However, that is just simply not the case with most people almost 100% of the time. These are just harsh whispers of my own issues at play, not even close to what may be going on in another’s thought process in that interaction shared or moment. I think it’s more like that person is also inside his/her own little bubble and this unconscious shared effort of not allowing our bubbles to touch in fear they may burst and we will both be left utterly exposed, naked.

But isn’t getting naked an exhilarating feeling? Honestly, isn’t it pretty awesome to be naked? Probably more so when alone and no one else is there to see your flaws and imperfections fully exposed, right?!?! Why risk the sheer embarrassment or judgment of others? No need, just stay inside your bubble, fully clothed, most likely in many many layers, and you will be okay. Or will you?

I think it’s hazardous to remain inside a bubble, especially routinely… however, sometimes they are necessary, I completely understand this to be true. (just don’t stay too long) One doesn’t need to be a “TMI” type of person and over-share their lives to be considered ‘outgoing.’ So what is the right balance and how do we burst our bubble from time to time and let risk in? I mean you also don’t want to be that person that pushes people away or gives the wrong vibe at a social gathering do you?

I reached out to some people around me today and asked them just this and the various responses were pretty interesting and actually powerfully humbling; however, the one message that was overwhelmingly shared was that of “insecurity, risk, and rejection.”

I bet nine times out of ten that it is our own projection of self-doubt that we are casting onto others that is being reflected back to us, that what we fear or worry about is really just that naughty talk of disapproval of ourselves we hear rather than what is actually being said (or unsaid) from the outsider in front of us. You know, that person you are engaging with may not ultimately approve or agree of/with you but that is seriously okay. Your worth is no less than you allow it to be. You may not win the approval of a huge crowd or mass amount of people, but you will at least have won the valiant honor of being brave. You will have won in the battle of self-love!! I say be brave!! Push your own boundaries and see where it takes you. You might be surprised. We are in a different world now, one that is in many ways more accepting and of different thinking patterns than our ancestors/elders. Take risks, let your caged bird fly. Maybe exposing our true self is also the underlying reason behind our incredible abilities to self-guard and protect, knowing oneself and being oneself fully is pretty freaking scary!!!

However, I really appreciate this quote in terms of the importance of going outside of our comfort zones, our “bubbles”:

Children are great examples of this concept. As I play the role of mother and aunt to some beautiful souls surrounding me, I am reminded of this concept of being exposed, innocent, unique, and daring. They are themselves and accept those around them. They are trusting and brave. I admire their ability to seek and discover the ways of the world surrounding them. Let’s show them a grand world with lots of bursting bubbles and laughter, one that is safe and free to be who they really are by doing so ourselves. I will continue to strive to be a better mother and influence on the children around me and hope with conscious effort that I may never place the fear of judgment upon them, that I may never “burst their bubble” in the wrong way. Acceptance. Genuine love. BUBBLES!!!

Now, how will you get out of your bubble? I would love to hear from you, please comment below and forge this (safe) shared space between myself and each/all of you.

Here’s to another moment of bursting bubbles and finding ways to gobeautifully.

Cheers!

Chandra

4 Comments

  • Marlene

    Chandra, what a beautiful message and how you have really pointed out what my life has been. I have allways bern inscure and have allways thought i was not good enough,even when i was a child we would have reletives come from out of state and if theere was a cousin my age if there were 3 of us cousins the same age i allways felt i was the third wheel and soon i would find myself finding an excuse to leave.
    My insecurities followed me to my marriage and i know my husband loved me but allways felt insecure . I should really go to some kind of counseling . I have prayed about it but i guess i have lived in the bubble for as long as i can remember and noone can help me i have to choose too not be do that myself.Johnny is adorible alse your two nieces. Itb dose not seem possible that he is already a toddler. We are so looking forward to seing you all this summer
    THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE

  • Elaine Aho

    So beautifully written. You touched right on, so many of my insecurities. You gave me a really good idea. I think every day I’m going to burst a bubble. Tomorrow I think it will be believing in myself. Thank you so much for expressing some of my fears .

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