Today marks four years since I married my dream-come-true Prince Charming… Happy Anniversary my love!
We dated about two and a half years before walking down the aisle… so we are still very young into our life together! (Although I must admit it feels as if we have spent a lifetime together at times – in a good way of course.) I find myself reflecting on our wedding and wanted to share some of my thoughts and what I’ve learned so far…
Our wedding was so beautiful, I get choked up thinking about all of the love, hard work, and efforts put in by so many to make it the fairytale wedding I had always dreamed of.
We got married on my husband’s grandparents’ property in a garden that was designed just for us, for that moment. His grandfather officiated our wedding, my uncle read a poem on our behalf, and we were lucky enough to have our siblings, parents, family members, and best friends right at our side every step of the way.
I always imagined my dad to give me away after we danced down the aisle… that is where I get dancing moves from any how. Lucky for me, I had the privilege of my dad giving me away to my son, who with all of his heart and honor, gave me away to be wed. I am certain there wasn’t a dry eye in the garden that day… that was part of our magical union, two becoming three, and together a family bound by the union of bride and groom.
My husband took on both of us that day with the most gracious heart and our lives forever changed. An idea I had been given by others that we implemented into our exchange of vows was that each of us made a vow to my son acknowledging the importance this huge change and commitment meant for him as well.
Together the three of us tied a celtic knot signifying our union and new family bond… our promises we were making and our lives intertwining into one.
The poem we had read to our guests by my uncle was one of beautiful and significant meaning in regard to marriage:
“Union” by Robert Fulghum
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.
The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”
Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you will say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.
For after today you shall say to the world –
“This is my husband. This is my wife.”
We exchanged vows, our very handsome ring bearer delivered our rings, and while holding hands… in a moment of pause, our officiant delivered beautiful remarks:
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy. In your final years, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
We had the best dinner along with beautiful toasts from both sides of the aisle and people that we love so much. His dad and best friend delivered a heartfelt and emotional speech to his son, priceless.
The dads have the privilege to give their daughters away, get the first dance, give the wedding toast and things like that… for us, we wanted our mothers equally included as well, after all, they did bring us into this world. My mother gave the most beautiful speech, my bonus mom was a pillar of love, and I won’t forget the proud love in my mother in law’s eyes when she danced with her first born son.
We sent pink lanterns into the sky along with our guests.
The cake was beautiful, sadly and now humorously, I sliced my thumb open and nearly passed out… good thing there was a doctor in the house.
We danced the night away, laughed with our loved ones, tossed a bouquet and garter.
I think we managed to fit it all in and then we were sent off through a cloud of bubbles and rode off into the darkness, on a motorcycle, embarking on our new chapter and adventure together as “Mr. and Mrs..”
I could write forever about that day… it was perfect!
I notice my husband’s hands often… they have never stopped reaching toward me, for me, and around me; that I call my “happily ever after.” It is not like you see in a cinematic production, sorry girls! That is not it… it looks more like someone cheering you on from the sideline, calling you to say hi, holding your newborn child, lifting up your teenage son, shaking hands with your father, hugging your mom, and killing any spider for you on demand no matter how good the Patriots game is going.
Our happily ever after looks like any other day to the ordinary person I am sure, but to me/us, it looks like the most precious gift. We are so lucky to have found one another, like we just “fit.” Our life together is perfect… not because it is literally perfect, there just isn’t such a thing, but because we choose every day that we want this and one another. Life is a crazy thing, full of twists and turns, adventures, stresses, worries, hopes, and dreams. We have endured some pretty tough challenges, and although I would have rather not have had to go through them, because we did… I am grateful for the outcome. I can say unequivocally that I married my best friend. He has been the biggest blessing to come into my older son’s life and is the best daddy to our baby boy. He is a really great father to our boys. I’ll never forget the way he cuddled up with me in the hospital bed as we became a family of four.
What I have learned the past four years is that marriage isn’t easy, yet it is simple. It takes both parties to make it good for themselves and for one another. It’s okay to not sweat the small stuff, yet it’s important to pay attention to the small things and see that they really are the biggest. Make time for romance and love… listen more than you speak, don’t go to bed mad, and never give up on the vows and commitments you made one another. Finally, LOVE, and LOVE FIERCELY… it will evolve and change and grow… it’s not meant to remain the same… grow with it, together, and never let yourselves get too far apart.
I look forward to each passing day for one day, we will look back and count the years gone by. In the mean time, I am taking this day, our wedding anniversary, to celebrate our love and our journey. I’ll leave you with this just as we concluded our ceremony four years ago today:
John Lennon once said,
“a dream you dream alone is only a dream, a dream you dream together, that is reality.”
That new reality starts now.
I now declare that you are husband and wife.
Brandon, you may kiss your bride. (I’m ready babe… Happy Anniversary! LUMUNU)
Thank you for allowing me to share such a special day and sentiments close to my heart.